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Posts from — November 2005

Chains of responsibility

Life has some amazing twists. The chains of responsibility around the heart are so heavy… Somehow the hearts desires can’t escape these.

Its your resposibility to pay for this, its your responsibility to be there for them, its your responsibilty to suceed (after all so much was invested in this), the house is your responsibility, the kitchen is your responsibility, the kids are your responsibility, fulfilling all their dreams are your resposibility…

Yeah but what of your dreams. Where did they all go in this? Do you not have a right to follow your heart. Why are you always tied down into a role cause its a requirement?

Oh, you could break it all and just leave. But it takes a lot to break those hearts. To watch them look at you acusing that all that happened is again your resposibility. Why can’t they just let you be? Why always have you make these choices? What if they just didn’t expect anything out of you?

How do you make the choice between your dreams and their dreams? And what would you chose? Its after all a choice between your heart and your family.

November 26, 2005   No Comments

Pay to Volunteer…

Have been looking up some organisations on the internet to do volunteer work with. Noticed something really funny. To do volunteer work you have to pay!!!

Seems so inhumane (for want of a better word) to ask someone to volunteer to help and pay for it also 🙂 Maybe its because of the foreigners who come to help here in India and think they are doing a great job, well yeah they are, but its wrong to think that they are doing a great job just coz its in a so called Third World Country.

These are the people who pay to serve coz they can’t help people in their own countries and wouldn’t be able to even if they paid there. So they come here and these organisations make money out of them.

But then what happens to someone in India who may want to help and serve people. Why should they pay for this oppurtinity to help their fellow countrymen? Is it right to charge for these services? Is there now a price for humanitarian behaviour? Where are we going with this? Will this become our culture? What will happen to all we were taught as children, to help all the needy and all of that? Would we still help if we had to pay to help?

November 25, 2005   1 Comment


Saw the doc and he asked me to take some tests. Gave the tests in on Thursday. The test results have come out and its all normal… yepieee…
The fever too seems better, didn’t have any last night. 🙂

November 18, 2005   1 Comment


Nothing much happening this week. Been sick since monday. Fever every evening and the fatigue is crazy. Will see the doc today… lets see what he says. This reminds me of the time I had jaundice. Just hoping its not that.

Did a ride over the weekend. Small day ride with RTMC. Pallavi was pillion. We had good fun. Went to AnataraGanga near Kolar. Some 160 odd km altogether. But Pallavi and I haven’t been on a ride together in a long time so was good fun, she’s after all my favourite pillion. She did get bored I think during the tech session. But super ride overall.

Body ache started after that… and fever set in too…
Hmmm kinda worried… can’t get it off me head… lets see…

November 16, 2005   No Comments

Husband Required…

Ahhh… had one of my infamous adventures again last night. Just before going to sleep at 11:30 walked into the loo to find a cockroach sitting comfortably on the basin. Stared at it for a few seconds hoping looks could kill but then hit is more effective to went and brought it from the hall praying the roach would stay put and not run off. Stood right at the door ready to bolt and sprayed at it. Kept spraying in fits and bursts till the #$%^& died. Thought of leaving it there till morning but then who knows, what if its relatives found the body and decided to take revenge for the murder so went to get something to throw it out with. Made a stick out of newspaper to manuver the body onto the dustpan. In the process of manuvering realized there was one more in the process of dying. Almost dropped everything including #$%^&*’s body to get away but then stopped at the door and waited to collect second body too.

Shock hit once the bodys were disposed off, was already rubber knees, now breathlessness hit and a racing heart at F1 speed. Just sat down in curled tight postion with eyes everywhere and jumping at every sound. Finally got breath back after 5 min, I think. The breathlessness was new and it scared me no end. Actually thought would collapse and die. Sleep wasn’t easy coming and constant search with eyes was on for some more. Finally slept fitfully with the light on.

Freak… was one of the worse until now. Think have to find someone (read husband) to stay with full time, if not for anything else atleast to kill these #$%^*&.

November 10, 2005   No Comments

Madras 4-6 Nov. 2005

Had gone to Chennai for the weekend. Oh and it was splendid. Stayed at a friends place… belted food… ahh Aunty makes nice food. Went out in between the rains. It had started raining the morning I landed. Was fun… Had met Shamz in the afternoon… a good three hours to listening to army camp stories… enjoyed every minute of it 🙂 Also saw a scenic point at top of St. Thomas Mount. Gotta go back and take some snaps… good place. Went to Zara’s for a couple of beers. Packed dinner at the beach and headed back home. Quite a bit of Chennai was still flooded and going through some of those roads made me queasy.

Saturday was stuck again due to rains but went out in the evening to do some shopping and had coffee at Coffee Day before heading back home for dinner. We then went to Flames. Well… not my kinda dance music for starters and the DJ actually started playing some good numbers only about 10:45 and they shut at 11:30 sharp. Just when u start to get in the groove. Timings don’t need a change but DJ does for sure 🙂 The crowd was ok… lots of place on the dance floor compared to Bangy where you’re sure to rub against someone everytime you move. On the whole an ok place.

There was supposed to be a drag sunday morning that we thought we would go for but then it started raining about 3 in the morning and just kept up through the day. So was cooped up at home. Spent the afternoon staring out of the window willing the rain to stop. Had to go meet Shamz but thanx to the one above crying 😀 couldn’t go 🙁 Had a good time talking with friend and getting on his nerves am sure :D. Was to leave at night and didn’t even have ticket thanks to holiday season. Then realized that most trains would be cancelled due to rain. Took a 10 meter walk in 2 feet water to the next door shop. Super fun it was, with only one umberalla and lots of water 🙂 Am sure me friend got scolded nicely by his Mom on return for taking me out in the rain :D.

Called Ajay to check online what the status was on trains. Realized all trains were delayed and most importantly the rain wasn’t stopping and Velachery was flooded on both sides hence no way out too. So decided to just stay put and leave in the morning. Found out about the trains in the morning. Woke at 5am and was ready to leave at 6:30. It was still raining off and on. So decided to take an auto. Auto guy said Rs. 150. Left Velachery but auto stopped inbetween on Mount Road, water I guess in the spark plug so took another auto… Finally paid Rs. 180 in total. Got to station at 6:45, ran in to stand in queue. Got ticket at 7 and by 7:05 was in train, as usual in the unreserved section :). Train left only at 7:30 so was already running late.

I stood at the door and refused to budge so the poor men had to stand inside with decent distance… fun it was. The door is best after all for view and breeze. Got talking to this man who was travelling with his teenage daughter I think. He spoke in a mixture of Kannada and Tamil. Just about managed to understand. He had stayed in Bangy a decade ago and wanted to know how much had changed. So we talked about his work, experience of Bangy and its people etc. He was telling me about how he couldn’t read Kannada and hence a lot of times would land up on the wrong bus. All he knew was the time of the bus, so whichever bus came along he would get into and only realize its the wrong bus if the cunductor asked, else he would just buy the ticket and travel to and fro. Lots of times for timepass he would just buy a ticket to the last stop and just take a ride and see Bangy. He had stayed in Domlur and had seen Whitefield this way. He got down at Katpadi after giving me instructions to move in as lots of people would get down and I would get a seat. I said ok, how was I to explain to him that I liked the door. Katpadi came at 9:30.

After which I just stood right there, some guy who looked quite decent gestured that there was some place across the aisle to him. So went and sat on half a seat. Borrowed a magazine from a babe there and started reading about the Delhi Blasts. My butt didn’t agree with half a seat so gave up and went back to the door. While I was there standing and reading one of the guys from the same cubicle came up and said he would get down at the next stop so I could sit down on his seat. So went and sat down there after sometime. Read a bit longer then started to feel sleepy so dozed off, waking up inbetween. The decent guy and another decent guy across the aisle worked for call centers and were discussing about it, so heard some bits of their conversation inbetween. First time I woke up they were discussing timings, second time night life (as in party scene), rest can’t remember.

Was woken up a little later but this woman who wanted some space and I was like where is the space, every bit is occupied and just coz I look thin don’t mean I can be fit anywhere at all. So slept of again, was starting to get bored and sleeping was the best time pass. Bored all because of friend wacking off my Bike magazine, so no reading material.

Ate all nonsense stuff on the way, two packets of boiled peanuts, some really oily vadas and some nasty coffee. Had terrible acidity and its still there after two days. Finally reached K R Puram at 1:30. Got off the train and went to auto stand only to find auto fellows asking Rs. 80 for 4 kms. Ahh… was in bad mood so took full chance and decently absused them. First one who said Rs. 80 was asked ‘Ladoo batre kai?’ to his confused reply of what do u mean, I replied ‘Meter se nahi aana to aaga badho jiji…’ Second was asked ‘Diwali hai kya?’ Anyway finally crossed to the other side of the flyover and got an auto. Reached home in 10 min with cost of only Rs. 23.

Quickly had a bath which took time as had to wash hair too due to train breeze. Left home on bike at 2:30 for office and was in at work at 3. Told all story of delay due to floods and in the evening at 9 cursed rain and weather fultu when fingers and toes froze on the way home.

Not to forget the two Tintins and one an half Three Investigators (read after ages) I read waiting at home Friday and Satuday for me friend to finsh work and get home.

November 8, 2005   No Comments

Diwali Week…

Well… Generally writing. This weeks been quite nice considering that there are only three working days.

Diwali was uneventful… just lit diyas but missed buying some silver on Danteras. Slept late on Monday so woke up Tuesday only at 1:30 in the afternoon. Good it was but landed up feeling lazy the whole day. Cooked rice for dinner and belted coz was so hungry after the fast. Today is the last day of fasting for me 🙂 7 days for 7…

Did a lot of painting and other stuff… feels so nice to get back to my creative side…

Getting used to the bike… and the body aches… and the RX was feeling so small and light today.

Slept late yesterday too and then had to wake up early to go to the parlour. Just got back in time to get the cab. Crazy ride back… the one off thing… full throttle and sqeeze in and out of traffic… what an adrenaline rush…

Rest is usual at work… but am off to Chennai tomorrow… fultu full weekend wonlee it will be… 🙂

November 2, 2005   No Comments