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Death

It’s so hard to explain. For centuries people have tried to know what lies on the other side and no one has a definite answer. It’s the one thing in life that is inevitable. There is no escape from it. It can be painful or just peaceful. But then again that is from the onlookers perspective no one knows what the dying person actually when through.

Death for me was never scary or a worry, at least not my death but when it came to family it hurt and it still does. When my Dad died I was shocked into realising that, that can happen, that is the truth. I was suddenly scared of losing my Mom, my brother and the rest of my family and friends. I distanced myself from them all in this attempt to cut myself off from the pain that would follow when I lost them. I knew they had to go at sometime or the other and this was the most sensible option I thought back then. Since they had to go they would but I wouldn’t be affected. So stupid, so foolish.

Losing people after that made me realise there is no escape from the pain. You could block it off for sometime, train your mind to not think about it, keep so busy that there is no time for thought but all the pain will go nowhere. It just lurks and waits to emerge at the slightest chance. The news of someone else on similar lines brings it all back in a flood, un-checkable, unstoppable. The memories, the loneliness, the trauma, alls comes back in a flash.

I learnt that there is no escaping the pain, there is no pre-empting it either. All you can do I guess is spend time with those special people, tell them how much you love them, not leave anything to be said and done concerning them for tomorrow (tomorrow may never come), fill you heart and mind with memories. Coz after all in the end that is all you will have left, and at least they will be happy.

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  • Anonymous

    i agree with you freya. the same thoughts ran through my head when my dad left for the heavenly abode too… Keep writing. Read through the entire blog tonight (archives included!!)

    Bobby