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Let It Go…

‘Let It Go’ are words I have heard often, been told often. But letting go is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I tend to hold on to stuff, not physical stuff but rather emotional stuff, I mull and mull till I get to mopping. And at the end of it all, I’m mind-fucked.

Let me give you an example. This morning like most other mornings I found some stuff in the garden that didn’t belong there. Unlike other mornings though, today my neighbour was sitting out too. So, what do I do?

I call out to her holding out my hand filled with used elastic ripped off some clothes and ask her if it was hers. She promptly replies saying ‘no, not mine’. When I confront her saying it isn’t mine either, I get told that her two year old must have accidentally thrown it.

When told that he accidentally throws a lot of stuff everyday into my compound, I got told that I must adjust because she cannot teach her son not to do it. I tried explaining the risk of these things to my dogs but the only reply I got was that her kids were more important than my dogs, so I must adjust.

You can imagine how I was fuming. Gawd, thinking of it I’m still fuming. Che awoke up to all this and came and pulled me away saying it was a pointless exercise saying anything to her. In all my fuming, I knew what he was saying was true, yet I couldn’t unclench my fists.

I set off on my walks with the dogs and it took me 4 out of 5 rounds to get it out of my system. I knew talking to her was pointless but I was emotionally overwhelmed, and super pissed. It was only halfway through round four that the amusement showed up, and I started to laugh at her silliness and my own.

I’d wasted 4 precious walks over my neighbour and her silly son. You see now, what I meant about letting go. I find it difficult to do and this one was one of the better cases, one that resolved faster.

I need to learn to get over things fast, let go more easily and not hold on for long. Not doing this just tires me out so much more and faster. It leaves me feeling like a wet rumpled rag. I rationally understand all of this and yet find it difficult to implement it when required.

I’m been trying for a while now and yes, I’ve gotten better but it’s not good enough. I need to get better at this. How do you learn to let go quicker? Disassociate faster? Step away sooner? And not kill yourself and your day over trivial stuff?

Understanding this and getting to doing it will make me a better person. That’s the person I want to be, the one whose feathers aren’t ruffled easily. I want to be a stronger person, more self-involved than involved in all this other stuff.

I’m working at it and will keep pushing to get there. But if you know what I can do. Have advice. Tips. Self learned lessons. Please do share with me in comments. :)

Photo Credit: Cory Jensen

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