This picture says so much about perspectives. A few days ago I wrote about Mahabharata as seen by Draupadi; a woman’s perspective to the epic war. It didn’t change the key incidents but it definitely changed the way I perceived the epic.

The Garuda Raksha mask comes from Sri Lanka and relates to another great Indian epic – the Ramayana. The Ramayana as we know it is the story of the good King Rama defeating the bad King Ravana. But thats our side of the story. Sri Lankan’s accept the defeat but don’t see Ravana in the same light as evil. Here’s some things to mull over -

Ravana was a great king. His reign was the golden age in Sri Lanka. Even the Ramayan says the city of Lanka was made of gold.
He was an accomplished Veena player. He had won over the Gods and been granted many boons.
The people of Lanka loved Ravana and stood by him during the war. He was considered a righteous king.
Ravana may have abducted Sita (Rama’s wife) but he never touched her. He could have forced himself on her but didn’t.

So do we tell stories to prove ourselves right? Is it our way of justifying what we did and why we did it? Is history told by winners the real story?

I’m currently reading ‘The Palace of Illusions’ which is the Mahabharata from Draupadi’s point of view. It’s an interesting take on the epic and it’s got me thinking.

One of the sub-plots is the story of Amba and Bheeshma, which concludes during the war of Kurukshetra. Amba vows revenge on Bheeshma for not marrying her and redeeming her honour. But my question is what stopped Bheeshma from marrying her or why didn’t she just marry his brother Vichitravirya?

Some background: Bheeshma is the eighth son of King Shantanu and Ganga. Ganga had married Shantanu on the condition that he would never question what she does. Back then women didn’t do drastic or crazy stuff I guess so Shantanu didn’t think much of making the promise. But Ganga went on to drown seven sons she bore. At the eighth Shantanu couldn’t stop himself and questioned her. (Why did Ganga drown her sons – these were eight Vasus who had been cursed to be born as humans. Seven had been granted reprieve, so they would be released from life as soon as they were born. But it was the eighth that had master minded the stealing of the wish-granting cow Nandini from Rishi Vashishta. He would be punished with a difficult life.) Ganga did not drown her eighth son Bheeshma as she knew his destiny but she did leave Shantanu.

Shantanu went on to fall in love with a fisherwoman Satyavati. Satyavati’s father was a smart man (so I think), he knew that Bheeshma was next in line for the throne and so turned down Shantanu as Satyavati’s children would not rule. Bheeshma wanting his father to be happy promised the fisherman that he would remain celibate and that Satyavati’s children would inherit the kingdom.

Later he abducts three princesses Amba, Ambika and Ambalika to marry his half-brother Vichitravirya. On reaching Hastinapura Amba tells him she loves another King Salwa, so Bheeshma sends her off to Salwa but Salwa turns her away saying she has been in the company of another man for too long. This brings Amba back to Bheeshma asking him to marry her to save her honour. Bheeshma of course refuses on the grounds of his vow and Amba goes away vowing revenge.

Why did Amba get angry only with Bheeshma, she should have been furious with Salwa for belittling her love. Why didn’t Bheeshma marry her to save her honour. He was only vowed to celibacy, not to being a bhramacharya. And most importantly why didn’t Amba just go ahead and marry Vichitravirya who she had been abducted for in the first place?

There are times in our lives when we just feel down and out. Nothing seems right, the eternal questions come back to hound you and leave you lost in a sea of questions and thoughts with no land in site. The answers just evade, it’s like the proverbial straw, only when you grab it you realize it’s a mirage. That was 2011 for me, lots of questions – from myself, family, friends and people – and no answers to be found.

But then 2012 to came along and somehow a switch flipped. I found some answers, yes, but I also realized that some answers didn’t need to be found. They would find you as soon as you stopped looking for them. Life wasn’t about only the questions, it was about so much more. It’s a meaningless existence but yet so meaningful, if you know what I mean

I love the new Coca-Cola jingle. The video shares a lot of interesting numbers and stats but the jingle is what I am interested in. The music is great; it’s upbeat and leaves you feeling nice. It’s my phone ringtone now and I look forward to hear it ring these days. But all this aside, it says so much about how I started this year and what I see for 2012. (Incidentally the first time I saw it was on Jan 1st.)

This year is a year of hope, new beginnings, experiments, and making sure that nothing will pull me back or down. I intend to smile no matter what life throws at me. There is always hope and a better tomorrow. I want to be happy, that’s my wish for life and nothing is going to stop me from doing that this year. The jingle says all that and more.

If you haven’t seen the video yet, here are the lyrics –

Ummeed Waali Dhoop, Sunshine Waali Aasha
Rone Ki Wajah Kamm Hai, Hansne Ke Bahane Jyada

Zidd Hai Muskurayenge, Khush Rehne Ka Hai Waada
Umeed Wali Dhoop, Sunshine Waali Asha

Tum Dil Se Agar Puchoge, Woh Khush Rehna Hee Chahe
Jab Sache Mann Se Maango, Toh Khul Jaati Hai Raahein
Toh Khul Ke Khusi Lutao, Ye Kya Aadha-Aadha

Umeedon Wali Dhoop, Sunshine Wali Asha
Umeedon Wali Dhoop, Sunshine Wali Asha

And the video

What do you think of the video? Like it? Does the jingle work the magic for you too?

I found a couple of other blog posts about the song and its versions. You can check them out here if you want to know more about the ad –
Coca Cola Ad for 2012… Umeed wali Dhoop… Sunshine wali Aasha… by Puneet
Umeed Vali Dhoop: Happy New Year by Madhav

Its been two months since I last rode a bike and I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed it until I rode the Dio a couple of days back.

I’ve been addicted to riding since childhood and I always wanted that which was not readily available. In school I wanted a boys cycle just because I was rebellious, yes, but also because a boys cycle (the one with a bar in the center) felt different, rugged not delicate, just different.

Fast forward to college and I wanted a motorbike, a TVS 50 just didn’t cut it. So one of the first things I bought after I started working was a TVS Victor. I didn’t know how to ride when I took delivery of the bike and I spent a lot of early mornings after that learning from my younger brother. (One of those very few things I learned from him Thanks Bro)

Riding was never about the bike for me, well partly but mostly it was about feeling one with the bike, the road like a ribbon on moonlight (thanks A. Noyes), the sun warm on the face and the wind fluffing up my jacket.

I’ve ridden a fair bit in the late two years, but either pillion or in a rush to get somewhere and then that two-month sabbatical. I just missed being able to ride but hadn’t realized what I was missing until a few days back.

I wasn’t riding fast; I was averaging between 40 and 50 but suddenly the world transformed. The bike felt smooth, the throttle calm to my palm, the road a ribbon of night and I was one with my bike. It didn’t matter that it was just a Dio, in that moment we were one, the curves a joy and the straights an observatory. I watched the city around me with a sense of slowness, every detail seemed vivid and clear; as if time slowed down. The world felt beautiful as we rode together.

The above paragraph may sound loony but I think some riders will relate to the feeling. I’ve tried to put it in words but I don’t think words are enough to describe it. But it felt so good I just had to share it. It’s such a joy to ride!

I just saw a video on Child Sexual Abuse shared by a friend on Facebook and like all topics close to my heart, this topic got me to want to talk. So here goes – This post is for all my friends out there who have just become or are going to become parents. I hope it helps keep your children safe!

Take a moment to watch this video; it has staggering numbers and interesting insights.

(Just in case the video doesn’t show, click here)

Child Sexual Abuse is quite common, so common that we should squirm in discomfort but we don’t because we don’t know the actual numbers. Children don’t talk about it!

I should know, I was abused as a child but I didn’t tell my parents because the treats would stop and I didn’t really understand that it was abuse. That particular insight hit me in teenage when I learnt the work ‘sex’. Then there were all the other emotions attached – shame, guilt, fear, you name it. It took me years to finally open up and tell my parents. My Mom took it well and was so supportive. The only question she asked me about it was ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’

Why didn’t you tell us?

Thats a great question and looking back I ask myself the same thing, Why didn’t I tell them? There were lots of reasons, it was a neighbour and family friend we trusted, I got treats for ignoring his fingers, I didn’t really understand what he was doing, I didn’t want the chocolates to stop, I didn’t want to be scolded or told I’m telling silly stories… It’s a long list!

The truth is children don’t understand they are being abused at a young age and that is our fault. We don’t talk about it or make our children comfortable with sharing everything under the sun with us without the fear of being reprimanded. At an age where the child understands what is happening to them the chances are higher of them saying no or asking for help. The crucial years are until they are about 12.

Here’s a few things you can do as a parent –

1. Talk to your child. You don’t need the child to understand the concept of sex at 1 or 2 but you definitely can make a child understand what touch is ok and what is not. Extend this education slowly as they grow, its important for them to know this!

2. Win their trust. Make sure your relationship with the child is such that he or she can tell you anything. Don’t judge them, shrug them-off or say something is silly; for them it isn’t.

3. Check on them. Off and on ask them about the people around them. Who does what with them, what do they play, what do they say and be ok with all the replies you get. It may sound silly but there are clues there. A lot of them.

4. Screen EVERYONE. I can’t stress this enough. When it comes to your child don’t trust anyone. Always screen and be alert. The highest numbers of abusers are inside the trust circle.

5. Get involved with your child. Children need love and attention and if they aren’t getting enough of it at home they will look elsewhere. That’s when it’s real easy for someone to take advantage of them.

Have you heard stories of abuse? Have your own?
Got suggestions for parents? What do you do with your kids? Please share them in comments, I’d love to hear from you.

(Sharing about my being a victim of child abuse publicly wasn’t easy and I’m not looking for pity or a ‘oh I’m sorry for you’. I’m over that and I’m sharing my story because I think it is so important for my friends & their kids out there to understand just how real and possible Child Sexual Abuse is. I want to help children out there and make sure they don’t go through it too. Abuse is not just in that moment; it’s for a lifetime!)

Update: I came across an excellent video through a friend that shows how you can teach your children about “Bad Touch”. Hope it helps you keep your children safe!