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Indispensable – That’s What I Am

Feeling indispensable is a very human trait. We like to feel and thrive on the fact that we are irreplaceable. No one else can do what we do and definitely not better than we can.

About 10 years ago (it feels like ages) I worked in the corporate world as a trainer. I was a good trainer, (there’s no doubt about that 😀 ) but I believed I was the best. I stayed in my job initially because I loved it but as time passed I stuck around more because I believed that without me the company would have people with substandard knowledge. After all I was the best trainer with the best knowledge. If I left who would make sure employees were top-notch.

Then the day came when I was humbled. Realisation hit – I was just a number on the companys rolls. If I wasn’t there someone else would do the job, the company with go on, it wouldn’t matter to the company at any level. It wasn’t difficult to find someone else to do what I did and maybe that someone would do it better than me.

As a freelancer in all the various jobs I did, I went through the same learning curve. I took pride in how well I did things. Pride in my work was a good thing but believing that no one else could do it better was a silly notion.

My last project as a consultant and freelancer lasted three years. In the last year I wanted to leave and move on but I stuck it out believing that without me the company would fail. I was irreplaceable, no one could understand what was needed or get things done better that me. I avoided and dodged leaving for months. I had to learn the lesson that I wasn’t indispensible all over again. And I didn’t leave until I learnt it.

This is one lesson I keep forgetting and it’s so easy to do that. It’s just so easy to believe that the world would come to a standstill without me. Yes, I am Unique, there is no one like me but will the world stop if am not there? Now that’s not possible.

Even to my family I’m not indispensable, maybe irreplaceable but not indispensable. When I am gone my Mom, Brother, Husband and Dogs may cry for hours, days or even years. But I hope it won’t be days and years. I hope they will miss me, remember me but their lives will go on.

I am but a small speck in the grand scheme of things. I have to keep telling myself this. I have to remember my place, be humble and above all accept that I am – dispensable.

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