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When U r in Love with a Beautiful Man

***Note: The definition and description of love has changed for me over the years. Not once but multiple times. As I’ve aged, matured and all that, love has changed its meaning too. Today if I had to describe it, I’d have a very different description. But looking at how I saw it then in 2000, makes me smile at my naivety. :D***

Of secret rendezvous, love notes, lovers’ tiffs, first base and other telltale signs of love

When u start feeling contented, everything looks rosy and pink, u feel u can never lose, u r on that winning streak. When ur friends catch u secretly smiling with no reason whatsoever, and u feel on top of the world… when ur shoulders never droop and u r looking far into the future. When there is a lightness to ur step and u skip when u gotta walk. When u dash to pick up the phone with ur dad looking on in dismay. When ur almost always dreaming and r lost in warm thoughts and ur mom ultimately has to shake u to get ur attention. Boy! Oh Boy! U r in love babe.

Being in love is the most wonderful feeling and knowing someone loves u can bring so much pleasure. There is something very special that u share with someone u have known for so little time; a bond that u share with no one else and if u happen to find ur best friend in that person then there isn’t anything more to say, for u can share and tell him anything u want to cos u know that he will listen and give u advice – not commands. And, the advice is good.

But there aren’t only the highs…
For a lot of times he wants more then u can give, and most of the time your timings clash and he will expect u to fit into his timetable. So u hardly go out, and when u do, u can’t enjoy the outing to the fullest cos u have a constant nagging fear of someone seeing u with him and reporting back to ur parents.

And when u’ve finally got a chance and r looking forward to going out, he drops out at the last minute or just doesn’t show up! (all because u haven’t got the message that he had passed on through other friends…) So u would have waited frantic with worry…got so pissed off cos u would have turned down ur best friend’s treat just to meet him! So the next time u see him, u would expect him to at least to be on his knees with flowers and an ‘I Am Sorry’ card but all that u get is a goddamn phone call and a nonchalant sorry (if u r lucky).

There r those other times also when u r all alone in some resort or club and he wants to go for the home run and u, well, u r happy with first base. So when he tries to make a move on u and says he’s always gonna be around… will go for so-called complete protection, (cos he doesn’t want complications any more than u do!) that it doesn’t matter and u should stop worrying – u end up sulking and pouting just so that he would reluctantly give up. But, strangely u find urself secretly wishing he had tried harder, for u really wouldn’t mind second base!

Worming his way into ur heart!
But of course there are those small things that mean so much. Finding cards and love notes in books and other hiding places makes ur day. His casual dropping by when he is around the neighborhood (or so he says), his remembering ur favorite eat-out, ur favorite dish and drink or how u like ur coffee, can make u feel so nice. The times when he does things ur way though he’d prefer it his way, makes u love him even more.

Above all, there’s joy in just having him around, of knowing that he will always be there for u, the feeling of being cared for and protected, of being loved and treasured. These things bring so much joy and happiness. It is these tiny things with their ups and downs that make what u share so much more special.

March 28, 2015   No Comments

Second Chances and My-Want-to-Change List

We celebrated an second wedding anniversary in May and realizing that we’ve stuck it out for two years together hit me hard and set in motion a lot of realisations.

We are both freelancers. What that means is we have a lot of time for life but we don’t necessarily always have the money. This is usually a good place to be until of course one of the credit card bills arrive to shatter the peace for a bit. The first few years of being a freelancer are hard. You have to learn that less is more and most often the hard way, you have to close old chapters and debts and it takes time to sink-in that you really have a good life.

The last couple of years have been those years for us. Che took up photography full time just days before we got married. (It still remember the looks I got from family when I told them I was marrying a jobless man :D) And we’re still working our way to that peaceful place.

Our anniversary set me off on thinking for days on end about all the difficulties we’ve faced in the last two years. I was in this confused place where I wasn’t sure if I was happy or sad – a mixed bag of emotions. Days crept by with my lists of things I wish I could change just getting longer and longer. The more time I spent the more stuff that had gone wrong surfaced.

One day returning after a visit with Mom, I sat-up and noticed that I didn’t have a do-not-want-to-change list. So I started making it. It did get long, not maybe as long at the want-to-change list but I had some great items on it.

My top item was having Chenthil in my life. I’d like to change a lot of things but in every change I want him around. (I want others too but this post isn’t about that :P)

Since I titled this post ‘Second Chances’ I’m taking mine – Happy Anniversary, Valetine’s, Birthday, etc. today and everyday baby. Everyday with you is a celebration; Love you. Corny, but true. xxx

What’s on your do-not-want-to-change list?

June 22, 2012   5 Comments

What do you think Ganga should do?

question-mark Here’s a situation that I heard all about this morning. Please read through and tell me what your advise would be?

Ganga is a 20 year old and she has a 4 year old son. When her husband had left her she was 2 months pregnant. Since then she has been staying with her parents.

She blames her parents for marrying her off to a boy she didn’t even have a chance to meet. When she came back to them after he left, she says they didn’t let her abort the child she didn’t want. And now she says they constantly complain about her son and her being a burden.

She nows wants to leave her parents and marry a boy she has met. He is still studying and is expected to finish in two months and get a job. That puts his age at about 21-22. He is a Teluguite and she is a Nepali. They plan to speak to his parents but intend to marry even if they don’t agree. The boy wants to marry her and adopt her son too.

Do you have any advise for Ganga? What do you think she should do? Should she think of her son before herself? Should she consider how young the boy is when making her decision? After all he’s still studying and is yet to get a job. Or should she just go ahead, because after all if it doesn’t work out she will be back to being single/divorced and that where she is right now. So she has nothing to lose but gets the bonus of a father for her son.

What do you think – should she marry or should she wait to assess further?

January 12, 2010   5 Comments

Two lost weeks & Three recovery books

The last two weeks had me in a daze as I felt lost in my mind and just didn’t seem to be able to find a way out. Ever been here?

My directional or route map in these circumstances are books. Actually books are my escape route always and all the time. To me books are a way to escape reality for a bit and go into fantasy as the plot unfolds and the characters live out their lives. The story feels like am watching a movie only I seem to be in it while it runs. I pick up books based on how am feeling and over the last two weeks I read three feel good books – Shadow of the Moon, the Bride and P.S. I Love You.

Shadow Of The Moon

Shadow Of The Moon by M.M. Kaye is set in pre-independence India around the time of the first mutiny. Winter de Ballesteros who was born in India but sent off to England after her parents die, comes back to be married. Her guardian on her return journey is Captain Alex Randall, and there starts their love story. Of course they do not realize it until much later and by then Winter is married to Commissioner Conway Barton. Around all of this the mutiny of 1857 is slowly unfolding and despite Alex’s efforts, suddenly Alex and Winter find themselves in the middle of it. The historical bits are well researched and as Kaye was born in India, she has added the real Indian touch. A good book but not as good as Kaye’s ‘Far Pavilions.’

The Bride

The Bride by Julie Garwood is set in Medieval Scotland. Jamie by order of King Henry must marry Alec Kincaid of Scotland (who has been similarly ordered by King Edgar). The story revolves round Jamie and Alec getting to know each other and falling in love despite the different cultures and customs. There is also mystery as Alec’s first wife had been killed and now Jamie is a target. The story is interesting and gripping and again the history has been well researched and woven in. A good light read.

P.S. I Love You

Cecelia Ahern’s P.S. I Love You is a modern day story set in Ireland unlike the previous two. The story is about Holly who has lost her husband and soul mate Gerry. Holly is devastated and can’t seem to snap out but just before her 30th Birthday she receives a bundle of notes from Gerry that gently guide her towards a new life. With help from Gerry, friends and family, Holly starts off on a journey of finding herself and a new life. This book is also a movie of the same name but I recommend reading the book first.

These books certainly helped me get out of the mind maze but even otherwise I think they are a good read. So what do you do when you’re lost?

Photo Credit: Amazon

P.S. – If you like the book and want to buy it; the pictures link to the book’s Amazon page and the text link leads to IndiaPlaza for those in India. : )

August 25, 2009   No Comments